Quietude

Painting by: Loga Srinivasan 

While we ran away from our problems through music, travel and food, she chose to remain in tranquility. There was silence in her room but not in her mind. No matter how quiet the room was, she kept hearing those voices. Voices that never trusted her, that never believed in her, that kept repeating the words "You will never last long!" , "You don't know anything!" , " How is this going to give you food?" , "No time for passion" and what not?

She thought 'If only these voices were fictitious, I wouldn't have crawled under my bed to hide in the darkness'. One day, out of so much rage, she started scribbling on the floor with a black chalk " I can't, I can't, I can't " . Out of no where, some breezy warm wind slowly touched the door of her dull lifeless room. Some intense shaft of light pushed the door and gleamed on her face. It blinded her, but just for few seconds.

During those few seconds of complete darkness, she heard a voice. This time she wasn't sure if it was fictional or real because it sounded just like her. She wondered, how can someone have my exact voice? She was scared, scared that this darkness wont change anymore. But that voice, her voice said "Don't worry. This is just temporary. Stars can't shine without darkness." The voice slowly faded echoing the same words again and again until her vision became clear.

She got a perfect sight of her room, but couldn't believe it,  since it was charged with Shiny bright lights. It was new to her, everything was new. Her room was never this bright, never this peaceful. She thought she was about to hear those voices, but she never heard anything other than her own heartbeat.

When she came out to see where the light came from, a small thing came flying. It was colourful, vibrant and beautiful. She has never seen so many colours in her life. It was a stunning butterfly, it flew straight under her bed. She was scared to go back again under the darkness, but the butterfly was glowing in the dark. She couldn't resist it. She crawled inside to see what was happening. The butterfly sat right on the scribbled unconfident words. When she went closer, she got the picture. Her eyes was filled with tears, she couldn't believe what she was seeing. 'I can't' changed to 'I can' since the butterfly was sitting right on the alphabet 't'. She screamed inside herself, "I can, oh yes I can".

When she was about to reach the heights of confidence, the room started becoming dark again. She was scared, she screamed inside 'Please don't go. No'. When she was trying to figure out why everything was changing, she searched and ran near her door from where the light came in. The source of confidence, was again blocked by so many people. There were people crowding outside the door. Those were the same voices that buried her confidence, who buried her true soul.

She told herself 'This can't be happening again!' , she crawled under her bed to search for the butterfly. It was still in the same place glowing like a shooting star. Her voice, her true soul was screaming inside trying to make way and out stand all the other voices. She was struggling so hard and closed her eyes so tightly. Slowly, her eye brows were getting loose, her head was feeling light, her lips were curving a smile. She opened her eyes, walked confidentially towards the door. She wasn't scared of those voices anymore. She just said 'I can' , pushed all the darkness and started walking towards her light, her source, her true soul. The butterfly followed her pathway.

She got the state of calmness, peace- Her Quietude trait remained forever. She never heard the voices again.

Open that door.